How much of change can we survive?

The above title line is from a song from one of my favorite artists, Sara Groves. Her songs were such comfort and inspiration for me during those hard times of adjusting to living in another culture. Out of all of the changes I have experienced lately, I have to say it is the hardest one to endure. Last year, I graduated from college, moved to another country, and got married. As many of you know, the first year of marriage has its challenges as you learn to live with another person and become "one flesh". Pair that with culture shock and you have enough stress right there to make you go insane.

Now, I had some experience with this before I moved to Venezuela. Of course, not first-hand experience, but I learned from observation. My mother is from the Philippines she met my father while he was serving in the military. They fell in love; got engaged. She made her way to the US and shortly after they got married. Well I came along before their first year anniversary so I've sort of been with my mom ever since she's came to the US. I remember how she used to cry and cry and cry. I remember how she used to get angry or confused because of cultural misunderstandings. I remember the fights. But most of all, I remember looking down on my precious mother for years, because she couldn't understand those cultural norms as easily as I could. Now some 20 years later...here I am going through a similar situation --- and I can say probably for the first time in my life that I'm beginning to understand my mother and I have a whole new appreciation for her.

You never really understand how many little things can differ in a culture until you live in another country. My best friend is also here in Venezuela, she was recently married in December. I cannot begin to tell you what an incredible blessing it is for me to have her nearby. Its been such a relief to share with each other how we are feeling as we are going through all of these changes. We have a description of ourselves here in Maracaibo, "alien babies". That's exactly how I felt those first several months here in Venezuela. First, you definitely feel like an alien to everything - its all new. I had to re-learn how to do pretty much everything from the way that I learned it in the US. I mean even the little things like cleaning, cooking, shopping, and transportation. You feel like a baby because you are always dependent upon somebody else in order to do something. The dependence thing is very hard on me because I am very independent by nature.

So, do I regret making the decision to live in Venezuela? Absolutely not, and I never will. I have learned so much through these changes. Even though they were painful, and even though I shed so many tears, and even though there were times where hope seemed dim I will always be grateful for these changes, because they transformed me. You see, by living in another country and being an "alien baby", I'm far away from all of those things that I've ever put my confidence and identity in other than God. Such as my family, my friends, my intelligence, my car, my university education, my comforts, and my accomplishments. I was so far away from all of those things, that all I could do was to turn to God and depend on him and re-learn to rebuild and actually revision my identity in Him alone. I had to turn to Him...I had to choose God or my only other choice was depression. I have matured so much from going through this pressure-cooker, and although there will be more changes to come in the future; I now know that in Christ I can do all things.